


r is for revenge

by Venstar



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Finally, Get Some, M/M, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 13:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13248906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venstar/pseuds/Venstar
Summary: Q finally gets a bit of revenge.





	r is for revenge

**Author's Note:**

> for the mi6cafe revenge challenge.  
> unbeta'd neener neener!

"You eviscerated me,"  Bond said, slamming his hands on Q's desk.

Q smiled beatifically up at Bond, his eyes trailing from the top of his newly shorn hair, cut to make him look respectable, down to his fingers, tapping threateningly and ominously along his desk.  "So I did."  Q responded simply and continued on with his work.

"How could you, I thought we were on the same side, had the same goals.  You're my god damned Quartermaster for Christ's sake!"

At that, Q whipped around and his lip pulled up over his canines, forming a snarl.  "I'm not your god damned Quartermaster, I'm MI6's Quartermaster, for Christ's sake!  And you destroyed a half a million pound prototype that was only in the early stages of testing, just because you thought you had the right, because you're James Bloody Bond!" 

Q snatched a file off his desk and spun around to march through his office door and straight on through the bullpen, minions leaping for cover and absentminded scientists scurrying in the opposite direction at the sound of a 00 yelling in Q branch.

"This is Q branch, you're always making shit!  Usually it works, why am I being blamed for this epic failure?"

"It was a prototype Bond, do you have any idea what that means?  A prototype?  IT MEANS THERE WAS ONLY ONE!  AND YOU KILLED IT!"  Q continued to march forward to his center workstation.

"Then you shouldn't have made it so flimsy!"

"You shouldn't have stolen it, because it wasn't ready for field testing, you cretin!  You're lucky all I did was eviscerate you in paperwork.  Where do you think that half a million pounds is going to come out of?"  Q asked.  "I told you the next time you stole Q branch equipment I would have your balls nailed to the wall!"

Minions all around gasped and began exchanging bets.  Did Q mean that as sexual or literally.

"LITERALLY!" Q bellowed into the whispering, he glared at Minion #246 until said minion put his money away.  

"I've been grounded!  Grounded, until I work off a half a million pounds!"  Bond hurried up, until he could hiss into Q's ear.

"Then you better start peeling those potatoes, Commander Bond,"  Q said angrily, he slapped the file he had taken from his desk and into Bond's chest.

Bond squawked as it accidentally missed his chest and hit his nose.  "What are you going on about?"  Bond asked as he opened the file.  His voice rose as he read off of the list that Q handed him.  "New recruit punching bag, R&D scapegoat!  Q this is ridiculous! Grease monkey for the motorpool!  MI5 and MI6 cooperative task force coffee maker! Q, for fuck's sake, this is bullshit."

"No, it's your honey do list for an eternity, or until I scrape a half a million pounds of work out of you, whether you like it or not.  And don't go running off to Siberia."  Q said, he waved R over, who was happily awaiting Q at his main workstation with a hard case.  She skipped up to him, her orange hair brushing her shoulder.  

"I'll fucking skip off to the jungles of Borneo if I want to!"  Bond hissed, his eyes focused on the back of his head.  "You've gone above and beyond your rank and station, Q!  M will never go for this!"

"What's this on the back of your suit, James?"  R asked, she picked at something past his right shoulder.  "Oh and it's also in your hair."  Her hand brushed above his right ear, distracting him for the second that Q needed to jam something sharp, into his neck.  R helped, by pushing against him to hold him steady for Q.  They both ducked as Bond swung in reflex.

Bond slapped his hand up to his neck, his eyes wide.  "What did you do?  If you want me to complete your stupid list, you can't knock me on my ass, you know that."

Q smirked and thanked R for her help.  "It's not poison, it's a tracker.  I improved on the tech by taking inspiration from a dog's shock collar."  Q smiled, like a cat who had gotten in the cream pot.  "You don't show up for the duties on your list, I'll shock you until you show up.  The voltage is high and it's in your neck, don't push me.  I would be happy to stun you into submission."

"What a sight that would be, huh Q?  007 on his knees."

"Thank you, R."

"I mean, if you like men, he is kind of pretty."

"Thank you, R, that's enough."

"Just get a room."

"R."

"I'm just saying, next time put the shock collar on his dick.

Q sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  "Thank you R, that's enough, or I'm tagging you next."

"I don't like men."

"I don't like you."  Q replied childishly.  "So, Bond, run off to Siberia or the jungles of Borneo and I'll be able to find you and shock you.  Try to remove it and it will shock you out of defense."  Q stroked a finger against the bruise forming along Bond's neck.  "I really love this thing."

"Get a room."  R grumbled.

"Thank you, R.  Shut it."

Bond narrowed his eyes at Q.  "You think you're so clever, don't you?"

"No, I don't,"  Q said, he turned and leaned against his workstation.  "But you don't seem to understand the word no, nor do you respect other people's things.  Touch anything in Q branch that you're not supposed to, and I'll shock you."

Bond smiled and shifted until he was almost, yet not quite touching Q.  "And what about you?  Am I not supposed to touch you?  You are the Quartermaster, the head of Q branch and you're often found in Q branch, does that apply to you?"  Bond raised one finger and tapped it on Q's jaw.  He was on the floor before he knew what happened to him.

"Exactly.  Don't touch anything,"  Q said primly as he stepped over Bond's still jerking body.  He tapped the app that controlled the tracker/shocker once more.  "And get off my floor, that belongs to Q branch as well."


End file.
